I realised I needed to update my blog from being “a nearly 30 year old” to “in my 30’s” Like how has time gone by so fast?
Anyway
It’s almost time to celebrate a New Year. It’s time for New Years resolutions, and it got me thinking… what is my new years resolution? Do I have one? No. Do I plan on deciding on some? Maybe. I don’t think I am one of those “new year, new me” people, maybe I was, but I am not anymore. I think I am more about – How can I grow this year? and How can I be my best self? I don’t have all the answers though. BUT I am an adult, and like seriously, when did that happen? I still feel like a kid, like I have no idea what I am doing with my life.
I find myself in so many situations where I am like “What does Makayla want” well Makayla does not know! Then I also realised that I grew so much from when I started this blog, and the fact that I took a step back also made me realise that I took a few steps back on finding out who I really am and what I really want out of life. I guess my one new years resolution would be to take some more time to blog and get things out. I honestly don’t care if no one reads it, I just like to put it out there.
I know I seem so up and down and here and there about how I want to do things and what goals I have, but life is not a straight line, so it’s okay that I change a few things here and there. It means I am one step close to being my true self, and putting myself first.
I wish I spoke up more… like how I am feeling in the moment. I sent my Dad a long message today, and said some things that needed to be said, and I felt lighter. Maybe some of the things will sound harsh to him, but I need to think about ME and MY mental health. I always find myself trying to feel what others feel. I always put myself in their shoes, and from there I decide what I want to say or do. I hate that I do that, but I also love it at the same time. It’s confusing, I know.
Anyway
I hope I write more this coming year, I hope I laugh more, and I hope I put myself first more.
I hope you do too.
Until next time my lovely souls,
Remember you are loved.
xx