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It’s currently 01:35 am and I am still up. If you know me personally then you will know that I usually sleep between 20:00 pm – 22:00 pm and no later. So what is different about this evening? I was sitting up and making some changes to the blog’s appearance and customizing the look of my YouTube channel, as well as making a small intro video. This is what I am truly passionate about, I can feel it. I want to make a change, I want to inspire and help others, this is my purpose.

I’ve gone from wanting to be a vet, a forensics expert, an occupational therapist, a nurse, a bookkeeper, an HR manager (to name a few) to not knowing what I want to do with my life. Nothing has excited me like this in a very long time. This probably won’t be my day job but it will be my true passion. Man I feel good knowing that. I feel so happy and content in this very moment.

Whoever you are, I hope you find what excites you, what gets you up in the morning, what makes you smile, what makes you feel like you have purpose. Please don’t give up. Some people know what they want from the get go, and if you are like me it will take some time, and that’s okay. Whatever makes you happy, that’s all that matters.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. If I can make one person smile, if I can make one person feel like they are not alone in feeling what they are feeling, then I’ve made a difference and I’ve done what I set out to do.

Thank you for supporting me, thank you for reading, and I truly hope this has made some difference in your life. This blog post is a bit short but I might write one later again. Don’t hold me to it though! LOL

Anyway, sweet dreams, I hope you will wake up feeling refreshed and like you can take on anything – because I know you can. Until next time – You are important, you matter, you are needed and wanted and most importantly you are loved!

xx

I’d like to share something that I think many can relate too. Ever told yourself that you are going to start something on Monday? or the first of the month? And then just don’t get around to doing it? Then you just don’t do it at all? And wait for the next Monday or the next first of the month? Yeah me too. But why is that? Well I can’t answer for everyone but my reason is simply that my OCD brain works that way. I am trying to fight it though, I am trying real hard.

I skipped a day. When I started this blog I challenged myself to write everyday for a year. What now? Well I am going to continue either way, yes I skipped a day and that’s okay. Usually my OCD would be taking over and I would throw in the towel completely but I can’t do that this time around. I’d rather skip a day than come on here and write about something that just does not resonate with me that day. It’s going to be hard though, because I know that one day will bother me, but I can’t let the rest of the year slip by just because I missed one day. I think i’ll try and start with a smaller goal. I’ll challenge myself to complete everything on my to-do list for today and take it from there, and once I can do that i’ll challenge myself to a week, and then maybe a month.

My Mommy gave me some really good advice, I can’t remember exactly how it goes but it’s something like “just focus on the next second, then the next minute, then the next hour” and so on. Break down what you would like to do into the smallest version and work your way up. You can’t expect to run a marathon without taking it step by step right?

The point I am trying to make is, it’s good to set goals and to set them with a timeline, but don’t beat yourself up when it’s not completely perfect or on time. What matters is that you are trying. Do as much as you can, in the amount of time that you can, and then try again the next day. None of us is perfect so don’t try for that. A quote just came to mind “reach for the moon so that you can land upon the stars” So yes set out goals, don’t make them too hard though, but if you land upon the stars that is great! and I am proud of you!

Until next time, be kind to yourself, smile, laugh, be yourself, remember you are important, you matter, and most importantly you are loved.

xx

I’m having such a weird morning. My husband, dog, and I were up until after 4am watching a series on Netflix. I think we all woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Nyx (my dog) has been so clingy and sleepy all morning, Jéan (my husband) was asking where his phone was when he was clearly watching a YouTube video on it, I called the doctor and couldn’t even speak properly. It’s like words and their meaning left my brain. LOL it was kinda funny. (I didn’t even know the word for Whatsapp)

Let me introduce my family properly – Jéan is my husband. Nyx is my 1 year old Rottie. Kai is my 8 year old female ginger cat. Cosmo is my 3 year old male tuxedo cat, and Tigger is my 3 year old male ginger cat. And we all lived happily ever after – okay I don’t know why I typed that. I am doing this thing today where I am not deleting anything, I am going to type and post whatever comes to mind. Brace yourselves because I am quite funny! LOL (cringe)

Okay so now I’m blank, I was laying in bed having all these random thoughts and was like okay I’m going to write it all down, and now I can’t think of one thing.

Okay I thought of one thing. I was thinking how am I going to relate this post to something inspirational? and I got it. Embrace the weird! Be yourself. Have you ever spoke about something and lost your train of thought? Have you ever felt misunderstood and like no one gets your humor? Have you ever had like weird thoughts like who invented languages? When I was little I thought that when you “spay” an animal you would put a spade in them and close them up! I used to ask where does your nails grow from, and your hair? Why does water have a taste yet have no taste at all? Oh this is a good one, sometimes I will put my arm in the air and just like have it there, and like why did I do that? Then I will think “okay drop the arm” and it won’t drop until it does. Like I understand how the brain works – or I think I do, but isn’t it weird how it works? Am I even making sense? Anyway I am having such a delayed reaction to what I want to say.

Okay – Love yourself, quirks and all. Love yourself even when you have random thoughts like I just did. Don’t ever apologise for being you. Don’t try and be like anyone else, be you, be unapologetically you. Who cares what anyone thinks. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself.

I have absolutely no idea what is going on in my head today, and that’s okay. Yes this blog is intended to be about mental health, and animals at times, but it’s also to let you know that you are NOT alone. We all have our days where we question things, where we are a little weird, where we feel lost and when we just have no direction. What I am trying to say is, it’s okay. I get you, you are not alone. Anyway I hope you made it this far into the post. Until next time, you are beautiful, you are important, you are needed and …… embrace the weird! oh and most importantly YOU ARE LOVED!

xx

Today I am feeling rested, full of peace and so grateful.

Today I am grateful for so much. To name a few I am grateful for:

My husband – I have such an amazing husband. He cares for me, he listens to me and he has been very supportive of my journey. I am so grateful that he is in my life and that I get to share it with him.

My animals – I woke up from my nap to see my dog also took a nap, my one cat was laying in my husbands office taking a nap, and the other two cats were sleeping in front of the front door. I don’t know why, but I found that so incredibly cute. We all took a nap together! LOL! Man I love my animals, they bring so much joy to my life. The slightest purr or licks means so much to me and brightens my day.

My immediate family and in-laws – They have been so supportive of my journey, whether it’s been sending me motivational quotes, sharing my blogs and videos or just reminding me how much they love and care for me makes me feel so loved.

My life – Life is not easy, and i can attest to this. But I am grateful for it anyway. I have witnessed so much, experienced so much, I’ve had bad days and good days, and even though the bad sometimes feels like it comes around more than the good – I am still grateful. I am grateful for this very moment, this very second that I get to write this. I am feeling a sense of peace today and I had to share it as I know I will need to read it one day.

Write down what you are grateful for, even if it’s one thing. Describe everything about that one thing in so much detail, so that one day when everything seems too much, that one thing will keep you going.

Until next time, you are valued, you are important, you matter, and most importantly you are loved.

xx

It’s 15:31 pm and I can honestly say that my day has been really good so far. I had a great session with my psychologist. We spoke about so much and I feel so much lighter. He really gets me, allows me to speak freely and I often leave his office laughing and looking forward to our next session. Opening up about my feelings, thoughts, and goals has helped me immensely, but I still have a long way to go.

One thing that I spoke about today was my difficulty with maintaining good friendships. I often choose poorly, and if I choose wisely then I don’t keep in contact. It’s like I feel like I’m not worth having good friendships, or maybe I find it hard to open up and trust people. I think it’s both. But I am trying to work on it. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I am WORTH IT. I deserve happiness and I deserve to have good friends and friends that I can trust.

Talking about how you feel and learning to trust the right people is so hard, but so worth it. Everyone deserves to be happy and to have people in their lives that make them happy. If you find yourself in a toxic friendship/relationship don’t hold onto it because of the fear of being alone. Quality over quantity.

Let’s start talking about how we feel and to the right people.

Until next time, remember you are worth it, you deserve the best and most importantly you are loved.

xx

Have you ever been called “crazy, lazy” Have you ever been told “it’s all in your head” Have you ever felt alone and misunderstood? Me too.

Why is it that mental health has these horrible labels attached to it? Why do people think that taking tablets for your mental health illness is silly or not needed?

People might not understand why I started this blog, and that’s okay. I know why I started it. I need more people to understand the importance of educating themselves about mental health illnesses. More people need to understand the impact of their words on the next person. Treating mental health needs to be taken more seriously, just as any other illness would.

Let me ask you this: If you have the cold/flu and your doctor prescribes medication and lots of rest, do you listen? Yes? Then why when it comes to mental health the same is not done? Why is it not treated the same? I want people to ask these questions.

Needing rest, needing medication, needing a time-out is okay! Expecting your mind to heal itself without any help is just not possible. Rest, medication, therapy, talking about it, needs to be done. Don’t listen to the voices that says you are crazy! That tells you, “you just need to get over it.” It’s not that simple, if it was, so many people would not be suffering in silence.

Mental health is important. Your feelings and emotions are valid. If you need a break, take one. Need a moment to cry? Do it. Be kind to one another, treat the next person as you would want to be treated.

You are not alone, please don’t suffer in silence. You matter, you are important, you are wanted and you are loved. Please reach out to someone if you are battling. Please visit my contact page for some more information.

Until next time, remember, you are loved!

xx

What are you passionate about? What gets you up in the morning? What lifts your spirits?

For me it’s mental health, my animals, music, and yes of course my husband.

If you read yesterday’s blog you would know that I had a bad day. I told myself “tomorrow will be better” and it’s tomorrow, and it’s better. Even if it’s 10% better, it’s better. I’m still listening to music, I’ve now switched to some good old Whitney, which is funny because I honestly can’t sing, but that is NOT holding me back from singing my heart out. My poor husband LOL

This makes me happy. Music among many other things makes me happy and sometimes very silly – my sister will vouch for this. She has videos of me singing with a broom as my microphone. Ahh that was a fun day.

To be completely honest I am taking so long to write this blog post because I keep saying “okay this is the last song I am going to sing along to” let’s be honest – It’s not. I mean how many of us have said that about a series? or a youtube video. LOL

Anyway, ask yourself what makes you happy, be honest and don’t care about what anyone else thinks, as long as it’s a fairly healthy coping mechanism, don’t be ashamed.

Laugh out loud, even if there’s a little snort that comes along with it. Wanna wear stripes with stripes, denim on denim, neon pink, all black? Do it. Wanna sing out loud? Do it. Wanna dance, even if it’s on the 3rd beat? Who cares! Sing as loud as you want, be as loud as you want, love who you want, be unapologetically you!! If it makes you smile, who cares what the next person thinks!

Btw, I think I’ve sung 5 songs since I said it would be my last. But who cares?

Do me a favor? Go to the mirror quickly… Now repeat after me “I am beautiful, quirks and all, and I won’t apologise for what makes me happy”

I hope that brought a smile to your beautiful face

Until next time, remember… you are worth it, you are beautiful and most importantly, you are loved!

xx

Over the past few days I’ve been on a high. I’ve been able to come on here and write about something without any effort at all. Today is not that easy.

It’s currently 21:37 pm. I had a bad day. I’ve neglected myself today – I haven’t taken a shower for the day. I’m struggling. I’m exhausted. I had too much of a high over the past few days and especially last night. If you suffer from mental health issues, such as bipolar disorder you would know exactly what I mean.

I had a bad day, I struggled to express how I felt to those around me. I wish I didn’t have bad days.

So I am currently listening to my mental health playlist that I made. One of my favourite songs is “My mind and me – Selena Gomez” and I think I’m starting to feel a bit better.

Having bad days is okay. Allow yourself to take it in, get through it and come out stronger. Write down how you feel, and take note of what makes you feel better. Whatever works for you, whatever makes you feel better, as long as it’s a fairly healthy way, then do it.

You can get through it, you are strong, you are beautiful, and most importantly you are loved. Always remember that! Tomorrow will be better

Until next time

xx

Have you ever looked in the mirror and didn’t admire what you saw? Have you ever been out and felt that everyone is staring? and not in a good way? Have you lost friends because your body has changed? Yes? I know the feeling!

Sometimes those close to us will tell us “You are beautiful” and we simply don’t believe it. Sometimes all it takes is a stranger or old friend to say it to you, for you to actually believe it. Today, I am going to be that stranger, or maybe to some… an old friend.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE SIMPLY GORGEOUS!

Let me share something with you. Most of my teen years I was fairly “skinny” I remember gaining some stress weight in matric but not enough to make much of a difference. Even though I’ve always been an introvert I felt good about myself. I had lots of friends, well if you can call them that. But then things changed… I reached my early twenties and gained some weight. I felt so insecure that I wouldn’t leave the house. Nothing fit me, I felt like people were always staring, and I felt ugly. It remained that way for years and I couldn’t make any new friends because I was isolating myself from the world. Fast forward a few years, I started Keto and got into the best shape of my life – yet I still wasn’t happy. I remember being out with family and going to the beach and I cried because I felt ugly in my bathing suite. I covered up and I don’t remember having much fun that day. If I look at those photo’s now I think to myself I actually looked good, maybe a bit too skinny for my liking now. A few months later I got married, went on honeymoon and came back 5kg heavier. That threw me off! I just let myself go from there, and now I’m in the same situation that I was a few years back. Not wanting to leave the house for anything and crying myself to sleep because my body doesn’t look the way I want it too. Oh! I forgot to mention… I have binge eating disorder, so when I’m stressed or feeling a bit emotional… food is my best friend, it’s like I can’t stop. I look at myself and feel disgusting! But an old friend reminded me that I am beautiful anyway. It look a long time for me to actually believe it, but once I did, I felt a bit better. Because, what I realised is, no matter my weight I am still me, I think I’m funny in a weird way, I care deeply for animals, I try and be the best wife and older sister, and for some reason my family really loves me! So why am I so hung up on the way I look? That’s unfortunately the world we live in, where looks are more important than who you are at your core. But let me tell you something, if you are a good person, good personality and you try to be the best version of yourself everyday, then my friend YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! forget about society norms! You are beautiful, say it with me! “I am beautiful” put a smile on that pretty face and the next time you look in the mirror, you tell yourself you love what you see, the next time you walk out that door, do so with confidence.

How you look does not define you, it’s what is inside that does!

Weight issues can really mess with your mental health well being, and if it does, talk to someone about it, don’t suffer in silence. The world needs your beauty! Don’t hide it

Until next time, remember, you are beautiful, you are worth it, and you are loved!

xx

Your new bestie

Over the years I have realised that having someone to talk to consistently and without judgement is so important. Luckily, I have a wonderful family who is always listening, but I came to a point where I realised, I needed more. That’s when I started seeing my psychologist, which was in February 2021. I have this immense trust in my psychologist and talking to him makes me feel so much better. I try not to call him outside of my scheduled visits, because that is just how I am, but on the occasions that I have, he has been so understanding and caring. He has been there for me in moments when I needed to cry, vent or just sit in silence. Bonus – he has a few animals at the practice that I get to say hello too, and then my serotonin levels are sky high again! LOL

Seeing a psychologist has helped me understand my disorders. I have bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, phobia disorder, and general anxiety disorder. When I was first diagnosed, I was in denial and felt like I didn’t understand anything, I was confused and overwhelmed. But seeing my psychologist on a regular basis has helped me tremendously. I am now starting to understand everything, I am learning to accept everything and I feel like I am on a better path. I have absolutely no shame in saying I look forward to my sessions with my psychologist!

If you are not able to see a psychologist, try calling the SADAG helpline or joining one of their online group sessions (I started there) or talk to a family member/teacher/friend. Anyone. Just don’t keep it bottled up. There is no shame in needing to talk to someone, having a moment to yourself or crying when need be. Never be ashamed of feeling a certain way and always know that you are not alone and that someone out there understands what you are going through.
Until next time, remember you are loved and you are worth it.

xx