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Why do I feel like that is all I do these days? LOL

I’ve been trying to keep busy. Let’s see. . . I am still job hunting (the struggle is real) but I am very picky about the environment that I want to be in, so that I don’t repeat past mistakes.

I went to Church! for the first time in so long. I am excited about that new chapter.

Daisy said that she can’t teach me any new things and that she is very proud of my progress. So I’ll be seeing her on a need to see basis (if that makes sense)

I’ve started 2 courses on Udemy that I am very excited about! Even though my brain is mush these days, I still like learning new things!

I am proud of myself, and I don’t tell myself that enough. I am proud of who I am becoming, and my progress that I have made over these past few months.

OMW why am I writing 2 lines each time? I wish I could add emoji’s to my posts. If you know how, please DM me LOL

I was taking a break from IF, and I am trying so hard to get back into it (that and exercising) but why does it feel so much harder than the first time? URGH . . . but nothing that is worth it is easy right?

I don’t know why, but my blog posts and YouTube video’s are so random, like I never plan it or the content, I just wing it. Speaking of which, show some love on my latest video :))))

Anyway back to some more random thoughts. . .

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sorry, that was an intrusive thought that had to be let out LOL

Yoh I crack myself up sometimes :)))

On a serious note though, I think I am funny, or at least my 100 personalities and I find myself funny LOL

I am writing this and looking at my doggy, and I just love her so much! Like I would take a bullet for her. Crazy hey? To love something so much, even though you don’t speak the same language. I am so grateful for my little angel, I hope she knows how much I love her.

Wait let me stop there, because now I am getting emotional :(((

Point of this post? Well I don’t actually know

JK

Be yourself. Love yourself. Who cares what anyone else thinks? I sure as heck don’t anymore, and I love it!

Anyhoo

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx

I’ve been down with the flu since last Friday :((( According to TikTok so is everyone else. . .

I don’t know what your symptoms are but I’ve had a constant headache, runny nose, cough and fever, among some other things that I’d prefer not to mention LOL

You probably reading this and thinking. . . okay? so? what does this have to do with your usual content? Well it has something to do with it okaaaaay :)))))

When we are run down we are usually more susceptible to falling ill and taking longer to recover. And then that makes us get in our head and then get the depression bug. (well that’s the case for me rn)

I hate being cooped up and on one spot for too long, and that has been me for the past few days. Just laying. . . on my couch. . . taking meds and watching Modern Family, I am almost done btw. (well it won’t be my first time watching it) It’s such a relatable, feel good series. I either end up laughing or crying because it’s so cute and funny.

Anyway, as usual I am rambling on and on (I am rolling my eyes at myself rn)

If you are down with the flu now, please go to the doc and medicate! It’s really bad and health is wealth guys! OMW I had this random memory now, I was in primary school and we had to come up with a name for a healthy sandwich and make others want to buy it. Mine was “healthy, wealthy” and I’m pretty sure I was not aware of the saying at that time. Anyway that made me LOL

But honestly, take care of yourself. Take time off and put your health first. (mental, physical) Taking care of yourself is so important, and as I am saying this I just realized I only had 1L of water for the day, guess I need to be taking my own advice hey!

Anyway, my brain is mush but I just needed to do something because the book that I am working on is just not looking good rn. I was like “let me stick to what I know” and get a blog out, even if I am just rambling on to whatever.

Anyway if you read this far. . . thank you. I appreciate you and I’m sending you all my love and hoping that you are going to have a leka week further :))) Rest up my beautiful souls and crush your goals for this week!

Until next time my lovely souls, remember that you are loved

xx

As another week begins, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the challenges that may lie ahead. But what if we shift our perspective and view each new week as an opportunity for growth, excitement, and hope? Embracing the week ahead with positivity and anticipation can transform our mindset and set the tone for a fulfilling and productive journey. Let’s explore how we can approach the week ahead with enthusiasm and optimism, ready to seize the many possibilities that await.

Embrace Possibilities: Every new week brings with it a variety of possibilities waiting to be explored. Whether it’s tackling a new project at work, reconnecting with friends, or pursuing a personal goal, there are endless opportunities for growth and discovery. Instead of focusing on the unknown or the challenges that may arise, embrace the potential for positive outcomes and new experiences. Keep an open mind and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone to make the most of the week ahead.

Trust Growth: It’s important to remember that growth often comes from facing challenges and overcoming obstacles. Rather than fearing failure or setbacks, trust in your ability to adapt and grow stronger with each experience. Approach challenges as opportunities for learning and development, knowing that every setback is a stepping stone toward success. By embracing a growth mindset, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of the week ahead with confidence and resilience.

Radiate Positivity: Your mindset has a powerful impact on your outlook and experiences. By choosing to radiate positivity, you can create a ripple effect of optimism and hope that not only lifts your spirits but also influences those around you. Start each day with a grateful heart and a positive attitude, focusing on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you, and let your optimism guide you through any challenges that may arise.

As we embark on a new week, let’s embrace the possibilities, trust in our growth, and radiate positivity. By approaching each day with excitement and hope, we can transform our outlook and set ourselves up for success. Remember, the week ahead is full of opportunities waiting to be seized – all it takes is a willingness to embrace them with an open heart and mind.

Until next time my lovely souls, remember that you are loved.

xx

“Some days, things just take way to much of my energy” – Ariana Grande

Those words are resonating with me so hard right now.

I’ve had a couple of REALLY great weeks, maybe 2 months or so? But the big crash came. aii what’s new right? If you suffer from a mental illness I’m sure you’ll understand what I am saying. Or maybe you don’t and you just know that life has its ups and downs. But how do we get through it? I think how we get through it is what defines us. I say that with the utmost sensitivity, and speaking from experience where I haven’t dealt with it as well as I would like.

I’ve written about what helps me when I have my moments, but what happens when nothing is working? What happens when it all seems to much? I’m asking because I don’t have all the answers, and I am still figuring it all out one step at a time.

I’ll tell you what I am trying right now. I’ve reached out to a really good friend, and I am listening to music and writing this blog. Overloading my brain with as much as I can to calm my mind and stay as present as I can. (wrote this part last night, and the next part today)

I am so grateful to the person who pulled me out of a dark place last night. If you are reading this, thank you. Sometimes all we need to do is talk, maybe not even about the problem at hand, but just to take your mind off things. Sometimes we just need to look at things from a fresh perspective.

I would like to encourage you to not be too hard on yourself. Last night I was beating myself up so badly about not being able to hold things together, but the truth is… things can’t be perfect all the time, and beating ourselves up about it won’t change the situation but rather make it worse.

Please be patient with yourself, especially when it comes to healing. Having bad day’s is okay, take your time and work through it. Do something that makes you smile, makes you laugh and then when you are feeling stronger, go at it with a fresh mind.

Thank you for reading

Until next time my lovely souls, remember that you are loved.

xx

That’s the question I was asked by my psychologist on Monday (not Daisy) and this is something I have thought about before, but haven’t like sat with it you know?

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that people enter and exit our lives when it’s meant to be and for a reason.

I started all this social media business because I want to make a change and impact lives, even if it’s one. And once my psychologist asked me “how long do you want to be remembered and for what” I was like this, this is how I want to be remembered.

I want people to think of me as an average girl that wants to make a change, a girl that has beeeen through it but has worked on herself, a girl that radiates positivity and kindness. A girl that you can open up to and speak to without fear or judgement. I want to be that girl and so much more. And I want to be remembered as that for as long as possible.

And I know I can do it, and I want you to know that you can too. Life is hard and it throws us with so much stuff but it’s what we do with it that matters. Turn a negative into a positive, and don’t worry about how long that is going to take you, look forward to the destination.

Be grateful. I’ve been through some crap in my life and I used to cry and think why me? But it’s all happening for a reason, I am meant to tell a story and inspire others, to encourage others to hold on. Because let me tell you… life was very very dark a few months ago and I am so so happy that I held on, because now I see the light and the beauty in all things and I welcome challenges into my life because I know it will make me stronger.

My message to you today is to hold on. Please hold on. Whatever you are going through WILL get better, it must. Look at your life, reflect, and let go of what is holding you back… and it might be easy for me to say that, but trust me. Instead of looking at all the crappy things, look at the good and take it in and embrace it and hold onto it.

Life is crazy with it’s twists and turns but I believe in you, I believe that you will come out stronger and happier than ever. If you feel like you need someone to talk too, I am all ears.

Until next time my lovely souls, remember that you are loved!

xx

Trust me this all adds up in the end.

Where do I start? Okay, so since I was about 8 years old I have been battling with a “specific phobia” which I will NOT mention, as I do not want anyone to go through what I went through. VERY few people know about this fear, and if you do . . . thank you for always trying to put my mind at ease.

Anyway, the fear had to do with religion/God/faith. Something between those lines, I won’t get specific. Living with this fear was crippling, I shed so many tears, pulled out my hair and all the horrible things. A lot of the time I was convinced my mind would “break” if that makes sense. As you know I have many mental issues that I battle with, but this was by far the worst thing that I had to overcome.

I’ve spoken to therapists about this and none could help. . . Until I met Daisy. On the very first day when we were talking about what I need help with, I mentioned this specific phobia and her exact words were “Oh, don’t worry that is definitely something we can work on, don’t worry” For the first time in my life I had hope that maybe, just maybe I can close the door on that chapter.

Daisy and I had a few sessions, and we worked on everything that bothered me (well the main things) and we took a week break (we usually met every week on a Tuesday) because my husband had surgery. And we met this Tuesday, and we were like well what are we going to talk about today? and then she brought it up . . . the thing. And she asked if I am ready and I said yes. We spoke for 50 minutes in total, and by the end of the session I was in tears, those tears that stop you from breathing properly. BUT – it was happy tears. It was finally GONE! she shattered the fear, she gave me advice and for the first time in my life I felt complete peace over my body,

We spoke about God and the Bible, I had some questions which she could answer based on her beliefs and the fact that she had studied the Bible for many years. She advised me to read the Bible and start with the book of John, and we spoke about what a coincidence it is that this weekend is Good Friday and Easter. The Daily text for today is “Good Friday — For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. John 3:16” Also, the daily text for that day was “Tuesday, March 26, 2024 — Psalm 39:7–13
Exodus 31:12–32:29; Matthew 26:36–46 The Lord makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters. Isaiah 43:16 Jesus said, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:3-4. Later that day my husband and I were reading up on the history of his Church and we watched a video and it ended with “John 17:21 that they may all be one”. I’ll link the video below

Now, do you believe in fate? because I do. How crazy is it that we had this conversation this week and it all kind of relating to the book of John? It’s not just a coincidence. It can’t be.

I told Daisy how I prayed and prayed to God to take this fear away from me, as it was holding me back from many things, including becoming closer to God. I believe every step I have taken in my life has lead me to Daisy, and in turn lead me closer to God, and I am so very grateful for that.

Crazy how life works hey?

I don’t have an exact message for you to take away from this. . . other than the fact that everything happens for a reason, and things will get better. You just need to hold on. It will get better

May you have a blessed Good Friday and Easter weekend!

Until next time my lovely souls, remember that you are loved

xx

Sorry I’ve been MIA 🙁

Life has beeeen life-ing? Does that fit the “lingo”? LOL

Even though my husband just had surgery a week ago, and I’ve been recovering from a terrible flu, I am grateful.

I woke up happy and decided to go with it.

I know it may seem like life can come at you with so many things, and most of the time with everything at once – but trust me when I say, you can get through it. It won’t last forever, the sun has to shine at some point 🙂

Even when you are going through the most, ask yourself. . . “what am I grateful for?” I’ll tell you mine. I am grateful for a new day, a chance to make memories and laugh as hard as I can. I am grateful for my wonderful family, my husband and my pets. I am grateful for life and the fact that I am getting older (I used to fear aging, now I welcome it) I am grateful for feeling peaceful and happy.

I was looking at old video’s of my siblings and it brought so much happiness to my heart, I have had the privilege of watching them grow up and become their own person. Life moves by so fast, so always embrace the now.

I know I haven’t been posting much, and I haven’t been posting much about my mental health journey, but I will get to it. Bipolar Awareness day is coming up, and I’ll probably dedicate a post to it.

But for now, I want you to look at what is good in your life, even if it’s something as small as a great cup of coffee that you just had. Enjoy the good moments, embrace them and try and hold onto them, for when days that are not as good.

Thank you for reading. . .

Until next time my lovely souls, remember that you are loved.

xx

In your eyes, I find my solace, my dear, My partner, confidant, forever near. Your smile, a beacon, lights my way, Your laughter, a melody, bright as day.

Each morning, your hair, a playful chore, Yet in that moment, I love you more. “Angel,” you call me, with tender grace, In your embrace, I find my place.

Your heart, a treasure, pure as gold, Kindness and help, your virtues bold. Tomorrow, the next life, eternity’s span, It’s always been you, my beloved man.

In laughter, we find joy, in trials, strength, Together, we conquer, no matter the length. Your work, your mind, a marvel to behold, I may not grasp all, but your tales unfold.

Your love for others, a sight to see, Reflects the love you’ve shown to me. In your soul, I find my home, With you, my love, I’ll always roam.

I’ll support, encourage, through thick and thin, In your arms, my heart, it does begin. Know this, my love, in every hue, I love you endlessly, forever true.

Thank you for choosing me, for loving so, In your arms, my heart does glow. My dear husband, my cherished friend, Together, forever, until the end.

Don’t forget to tell those you love how much they mean to you

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved

xx

I’ve made some changes. Okay, let’s be real for a second… I’ve made quite a few changes. And it all started with this blog. I am so grateful for this safe space where I can talk about what I want and just be me.

After I started the blog, I made a YouTube channel, Instagram & TikTok account and a Facebook page, I somehow ended up on Reddit too, but haven’t been very active on it. Anyway… It started with me wanting to create awareness about mental health and specifically bipolar disorder. It later branched out into my physical well being as well, and I’m glad it did.

I started intermittent fasting, started exercising, meditating, and generally just taking better care of myself. I have Daisy to thank for a lot of those things. Daisy made me realize that it’s okay to get excited about things and to make changes. (for some context I had a really bad manic episode in 2022 and I did a lot of stupid things that I now regret. I was on top of the world, full of energy, and then came crashing down so hard, so I was, you can say “scared” to let myself be happy because I didn’t want another manic episode) Anyway Daisy helped me understand my emotions and how to cope with them, same with my mood. Doing DBT therapy has changed my life.

I am so happy and at peace, yes there is a lot going on under the surface but I’m happy. I have a routine, I’m talking about how I feel without lashing out. I am becoming more confident in my body. I am making changes. I even posted some really scary things on TikTok, things that I usually wouldn’t. It’s like I didn’t want the world to see me, the fat girl. I didn’t want to be known as the fat girl. I was ashamed. But now I am holding myself accountable for my actions, being assertive of what I put into my body and how I take care of my body. I don’t care about being that fat girl anymore because that does NOT define me. I am not going to be scared of going out because of my appearance. Yes I’m overweight, what are you going to do about it? Laugh? Trash talk me? I DON’T CARE! I am making changes.

I am at my best mentally, I am getting to where I want to be physically and nothing is going to get in my way. So, come at me with whatever you want, I will still stand tall and strong, because that is who I am now. I am strong, I am the best version of me. Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to get me down.

Anyway, I want to encourage you to take that step, whatever it is, if it’s going to make you feel better about yourself, do it! Who cares what everyone else thinks? Want a supporter? I’ll be your supporter! You are strong, you are beautiful, you can do anything you put your mind to. Now go out there and do it.

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx

Okay, that’s a bold statement to make right?

But honestly? I’ve done so much work on myself in the past month that I can say I am in a really good place right now with my mind.

Doing DBT therapy, exercising and doing intermittent fasting has all come together like a puzzle, a puzzle that has had pieces missing for years.

I just got off a call with my therapist, and we had some deep conversations, and part of me feels really sad, but a good kind of sad if that makes sense. For the first time I can identify my emotions and know how to deal with it.

Handling my emotions and controlling my mood has been something that I have struggled with for years, and to finally see the light is such a good feeling.

I am going to keep today’s post short because I just want to go and be present in what I am feeling in this moment, I want to process it and get through it in a healthy way, a way that I now know how to do.

Maybe I’ll make a post today or tomorrow going into detail on what I mean, but for now I want you to take a minute, take a deep breath, feel your lungs expand and embrace the smells around you, listen to the sound and feel the moment that you are in. Feel it deeply, and know that if you are going through a tough time, it won’t last forever, trust me. Here is a video I listened to this morning that I really enjoyed, and that helped me stay present in the moment.

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx