Author: makaylajantjes@gmail.com

It’s been a good day.

It’s important to appreciate the good days. Sometimes it feels like the bad days overpower the good days, but I like to document the good days so that I can come back and remember that it does happen.

Yes, I am going to talk about my babies again! Man I love my animals! I’m looking at them rn and my heart is just filled with love and joy. Yes they can be so naughty at times! Like when they just refuse to do their business outside, and think it’s funny to use my couch as a toilet. Sometimes they run through their shit and I have to put them in the bath and wash their stinky, messy pawsies, but I’ll be honest – I find it quite funny! Especially when my husband shouts “Kayla!!!! No man something smells like shit here!” haha it gets me every time. Sometimes Nyx just paw smacks me but I remember that she doesn’t understand her size, and all she wants me to do is kiss her paws – because when I taught her paw, I rewarded her with paw kisses. I do not recommend it if you don’t want random paw smacks LOL. Sometimes, well let me be honest! most times – I find their hair all over me when I am cooking, because they are waiting for me to let something to fall on the floor. OMW one day I cut up my chicken fillet and turned away for a second and she just gobbled it all up! she left ONE cube LMAO. In the moment I did not think about anything but if she’s going to be okay. I immediately called two vets, and a friend to find out if raw chicken will make her sick in anyway. The receptionists just laughed and said she will be okay, I still monitored her the whole night. Things like this other people might find naughty or whatever, but I read somewhere that they are like two year olds, so I give them the benefit of the doubt. Nyx especially gets away with so much! She’s just a baby man!

Anyway, where was I? I don’t even know. Fun fact, I don’t read back my posts to make it flow or whatever, I just write whatever comes to mind.

The point is – I will do anything for my babies! and yes I call them my babies, and yes I refer to myself as Mommy when I talk to them. No one will convince me that I am not a mother, I am their mother and they love me, and it’s so rewarding. Loving someone or something that does not speak the same language as you do is so fulfilling, it’s different and it’s unconditional.

I often sit and think – “how did I live without dogs?” like how was my life any fun? How was it fulfilling? It wasn’t. I look forward to my morning kisses, and I don’t know why but the cheesy smell of their toe beans gives me a serotonin hit! I love how they join me while I’m in the bathroom, and how Nyx wants to climb in the shower with me! I love how they give me attitude when they don’t get their way. I love how they play with their toys and want to share it with me. On days when I am home alone with them, they are the only things keeping me sane. I talk to them, and they follow me everywhere. I don’t feel alone, and I feel protected. My neighbours probably think that I have kids the way I go on, I have a concert for them, and they hate it! haha! I share my apples with them, and they know to try and be quiet when Mommy is talking on the phone. Shame, they don’t always get it right, and that’s okay, I’ll love them anyway.

My animals have been very instrumental in helping me along me mental health journey. I don’t know where I would have been if it was not for Nyx. She saved me from my own mind, and for that – I’ll always be grateful. I’ll do anything for her, and the day that I have to say goodbye, will be the biggest heartbreak! urrrggghhhhh whhhhhhhy do I always go there? So annoying!

Anyway, I hope my animals know how much they mean to me. I promise I’ll show it in every way possible.

If you have animals, give them a hug, give them kisses, tell them how much you love them. We are with them for their whole lives, let’s make it memorable.

Nyx, Iris, Kai, Cosmo and my bang gat Tigger – Mommy loves you!!! oh and of course Daddy too.

I’ve been told that I am good with words. I disagree. Maybe once upon a time I was, but now… I’m not so sure.

Anyway,

I started a document filled with memories from my childhood. I only wrote about two occasions that I think changed something in my brain. And guess what? I feel guilty. I feel guilty writing about it. No one will ever read it, but just putting it on paper (or WORD lol) feels… wrong? I get this way in therapy too, I tell Eli about things that shaped who I am, and I obviously talk about my childhood, parents, siblings and other family members. But – It feels so wrong. I always have to follow up with “but they have their own trauma” or “but they are this way because…” or “But I love them” or sometimes I just laugh it off. Eli keeps telling me that I can love someone and still have a complicated relationship with them, or have bad memories about them. He says I need to talk about it and heal, and that does not mean I don’t love them. It’s hard though. Like, I do this thing where I put myself in their shoes, try and envision their trauma and think how I would react, then I end up in tears because who deserves that?

Anyway,

What I am trying to say is… it’s good to talk to someone you trust, in my case its my therapist – because he is bound by whatever law to not tell anyone about it haha. Talk to someone because keeping things inside is not healthy. I know it’s not easy, especially when your trauma is linked to the people you love most. It’s okay to sympathise with them, but you also need to think of yourself. The goal is to break the cycle. Okay – no one is perfect. I know I have not been the perfect big sister , daughter, wife, cousin or friend, but I am learning and growing with each day that goes by.

Try not to be so hard on yourself, its okay to talk about what you are going through.

Disclaimer – I am NOT saying that you should entertain an abusive (physically or emotionally) relationship. In this particular situation I am talking about relationships where you are bound by blood or whatever and you want to talk about your trauma, but you still love them – it’s okay to talk about your feelings and still love the person. I hope I am making sense.

Relationships are complicated, whether its with relatives, friends or even your neighbour. And nothing is perfect.

Anyway,

I need to follow my own advise and learn to talk about my feelings without HAVING to put myself in their shoes, and force myself to feel what they felt in order to understand their actions. I know for a fact I am not the only person feeling this way. It’s normal, we are human, and we tend to protect those we hold dearly, but we also need to think about ourselves, our mental health, and our future.

Anyway,

On a lighter note – I joined the gym! It’s hectic guys! Exercising is not easy lol. BUT – it’s worth it.

Anyway,

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved.

xx

No, this is not a pity seeking post. I just need to vent.

Have you ever felt a fit of rage just come over you in a split second? Has the breathing of someone that you love suddenly annoy the sh*t out of you? Does it feel like someone is grinding your brain and the only way to make it feel better is to say the most hurtful things? Have you gone from feeling overwhelmed by anger, to a wave of happiness – the kind of happiness that feels unreal? To feeling like you are the most worthless piece of crap to ever exist? Have you gone from feeling invincible, like anything is possible, like the 50kg’s that you need to shed will just melt off because you have a new found strength to exercise? Have you gone from that to not being able to get up to relieve yourself? or make yourself a cup of coffee, or put socks on because you are freezing. Has taking a shower or the thought of having to brush your teeth feel like Mount Everest that you have to climb? Have you gone from laughing your literal ass off to crying like your life depends on it?

Have you ever felt so scared of something that you starting pulling your hair out, pinching yourself, hurting yourself, all to make it better? Has your mind ever tricked you into thinking that you can’t do a basic thing like swallow your food? Have you ever felt like if you don’t take 10 sips of water at a time that the world will end? Has your mind tricked you into thinking heaven is a bad place and that bringing life into this world will without a doubt kill you? Has your heart ever raced so fast that you feel like your body is going to give in? Have you been obsessed with safety to a point where if someone hasn’t let you know if they are safe, that they are most definitely dead, and you go searching for accidents, planning a funeral and dreading the rest of your life?

Has the thought of food consumed you? Has it been on your mind since you woke up to the very last second that you fell asleep? Has that last spoon of food in the pot been distracting you from reading a book, listening to a song? Has it ever felt like someone or something is forcing you to stuff your face, and if you don’t, something bad will happen?

Have you ever felt so misunderstood, to a point where you feel like you are going crazy? Have you questioned if life is real? Have you questioned if you are real? Have you ever thought that your life is a game to someone else and they are torturing you for fun? Have you stared into space feeling so numb, like nothing exists? Do you always think the worst? Do you play out scenarios in your head to the worst possible outcome? Have you held your breath because you think you made a mistake, and that mistake will end your life? and that mistake was you forgetting to add a question mark at the end of a sentence? Have you looked in the mirror everyday thinking you are so disgusting and how could anyone love you? Has breathing become a chore? Have you ever had to depend on a pill to get you through the day? Does therapy scare you and excite you at the same time? Do you get annoyed about having to speak about your trauma because people dismiss it like it’s nothing? Do you call yourself names, disgusting names just to get through the day? Have you felt like everyone is staring at you in disgust?

Have you felt all these things in one day or in the space of an hour?

No? Then please don’t comment on something you know nothing about. And if you have felt all these things and got past it, I AM PROUD OF YOU! WELL DONE! but I am not there yet. I still need guidance, I still need help, I still need a pill, I still need a doctor, I still need a lot.

You do not need to have an opinion on everything, and especially something you know nothing about. Stop being mean! Stop judging! You have no idea what the next person is going through. Take a moment before you comment on something. Take a moment before you judge. It costs nothing to be kind, to smile at the next person, to say have a good day, to be a good person. Honestly that’s like the bare minimum that you can do.

I am almost 100% sure that I am not the only person feeling this way – like no one understands, yet they want to have an opinion. Do yourself a favour and educate yourself, or better yet get a degree in the field, then let’s talk.

Sorry. I just needed to vent.

Actually, I’m not sorry.

Yup it’s one of those nights where I am overwhelmed with the amount of love that I have for my animals. I love them so much! and we don’t even speak the same language. It’s crazy!

Sometimes I struggle to express how I am feeling, so I tend to google poems or quotes that resonate with me, and I did that tonight. I shouldn’t have. I searched “cute dog poems” and somehow landed up with poems written from the dog’s perspective – to the owner, to comfort them once they have passed on. That shattered me. I cannot imagine a life without my babies. I love all of my fur-babies the same, but I have an extra special bond with Nyx.

Nyx came into my life when I needed her the most, even though I did not want to admit it at the time. I was in a bad place, and having to get up every morning to feed and walk her was draining, especially because I could not even do it for myself. Having Nyx forced me to do a lot of things that I didn’t want to do, like take her to doggy school every Saturday morning, and go on incredibly difficult doggy walks. But having Nyx opened me up to a kind of love that I am so grateful that I get to experience. We have our own unspoken language. I know when she’s sad and wants attention, and she somehow knows when I need her too. As I am writing this, she is laying tightly next to me and I feel so loved. I wish she could live with me forever. I don’t want to think of life without her. Oh here come the waterworks! Man I really thought I would keep it together tonight.

I started writing a poem about Nyx a few weeks back, and I have to admit – I am not half as good as I used to be when it comes to writing poems. But I might share it one day. The point is… Nyx inspires me. She is so happy all the time, she gets excited for the same toys everyday. She gets so happy when I kiss her paws, give her water, food and take her for walks. She loves to sit with me in the bathroom, she likes to steal my socks! She enjoys every moment and makes it count. I love that. I love her. I wish I could have one proper conversation with her one day, I wish I could tell her exactly how much she means to me, and how much I love her. But I’ll settle for kissing her paws, letting her give me morning breath kisses and letting her take my socks. I hope she knows that I would do anything for her.

Gosh the amount of blog posts dedicated to this dog is so funny! People must think I am so weird, but I don’t care. “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened”

This isn’t really one of those blog posts where it has a deeper meaning. It’s simple. Cherish your fur babies! They are with you for a short time of your life, but they are with you for their WHOLE life! so make it count!

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx

I’ve been on this weird path where I am questioning who I am as an individual, and tbh I felt so embarrassed about it.

I told Eli – “I’m almost 30, yet I am questioning what I like and what I don’t like, and that is so embarrassing”. He then asked me: How does someone that has everything put together look like? And I said, well firstly someone that knows who they are at their core, what they like, what they don’t like. Someone that has a distinct way of dressing, has a unique taste in music, someone that is confident in their opinions and just knows what they want out of life. Now that’s just off the top of my head, and obviously it looks different to everyone. And his response to that made a lot of sense, all he said is, well that kind of person is confident in who they are, they don’t care as much about other people’s opinions, so why do you?

I honestly don’t know why I care so much about how people perceive me. But I know I am not the only one feeling this way. Eli then asked if there is something I am passionate about and I said music, and he asked if I have a favourite artist, and if you know me, you know it’s Selena Gomez. He then asked what it is that I like about her, and I told him. (Don’t worry I am getting to the point) He then asked if I watched Only Murders In The Building, and I have not. He then explained that it’s a really good show and should give it a try. We then discussed one of the other Actors, and how he does tiny desk concerts, or something like that, and he went down a rabbit hole and found one of his favourite artists. The point of this is, sometimes just one interest can lead you down a path of a whole new type of interest. And the bigger point is to try things to see if you like them or not, and that’s how you learn more about yourself.

What he said made a lot of sense because I am reluctant to try new things, and well, maybe that is why I don’t know what I like and don’t like. So, I am challenging myself to try new things. I have one new thing that I am going to try, and it scares me so much! But I think it will be good for me. Once I have actually done it I’ll share it LOL.

Anyway, the point of this blog post is that everyone is going through something, and maybe you might relate to this. Not everyone has everything figured out at the same time. There is no time stamp on when you HAVE to do certain things. We are all on this rollercoaster that’s called life, and it’s okay if you haven’t reached the peak of the ride yet. (I hope that made sense haha)

I’m going to try and care less about what people think about me, and care more about what I think about me!

If you made it this far, thank you!

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx

Its Tuesday, 10th of June 2025.

I know you’re struggling, you don’t know when things will get better. You go to sleep at night dreading the start of the next day. I know you’re tired, I know you feel hopeless, but that part of you that has a glimmer of hope wants you to hold on.

You’ve been through a lot, you could talk about your “trauma” for days on end – but you won’t. You won’t because you feel like so many are going through so much worse, and you feel like what you are feeling is a drop in the ocean. But let me tell you something Eli told me: Don’t dismiss what you are feeling, your feelings are valid, and yes – people might be going through a lot worse, but that does not discredit what you are feeling and experiencing. Everyone handles things differently!

I know you fake your smile, I know those “LOL’s” are not real. I know deep down sadness is all you feel, but you don’t want others to see you at your lowest. I want you to know that crying is not a sign of weakness, but rather of strength, because your tears won’t always be sad tears, one day it will be happy tears, and you’ll look back on this day and realise that everything happened for a reason and that you had to shed those tears, it made you stronger.

I know you don’t want to get out of bed, I know it feels like the best place to be… hiding under the covers, like a warm hug is embracing you. Hold on – a real hug is on it’s way. It will be the best hug ever, and hold onto it a few seconds longer if you need too.

I know you are turning to bad things to comfort you, I know it makes you feel better in the moment – but let’s be real, you feel so much worse after. You’ve got this, you don’t need to give into that “craving”. Things will get better, and you will thank your future self for putting yourself first and for saying “NO”.

I know you look in the mirror and you don’t recognise yourself. You want to see what you once saw, but that’s the beauty of life, and growing up. Let it be a reminder that nothing stays the same forever. Just as you are changing, things will too. Learn to love yourself again, learn to love what you see.

Life is hard man! But I don’t want you to give up. Tomorrow, I want you to try something, get up, play this song: https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/71iSmEeF0qRVyULABxP75P?utm_source=generator

Now, get up and SHAKE IT OUT!!!

Go take that warm bath, take in the smell of the body wash. Have a look in the mirror and admire the beauty that is YOU. Take a few minutes and reflect on what you like about yourself, and write it down – for when days that are not as kind. Unleash your thoughts on a piece of paper, and tear it up if you want, or keep it as a reminder that you overcame it. Search the worst jokes, and have a good laugh, and don’t fake it. Don’t give into the bad thoughts and bad actions. Take a walk and admire the beauty. Do anything that brings a smile to that beautiful face of yours, and remember – things will get better, your future is bright, and you are worth it. You are worth the fight, the sweat and the tears, and future you will thank you one day.

Remember – YOU ARE LOVED!

xx

Why Music Makes My Brain Do a Happy Dance (and Sometimes Replay the Not-So-Happy Moments) – Plus, My Singing Adventures!

So, let’s talk about music. It’s like, the ultimate mood ring, right? One minute you’re feeling totally “meh,” and then your favorite song comes on, and suddenly you’re ready to conquer the world (or at least your laundry pile).

I’ve been on a bit of a musical journey lately, diving into all sorts of genres. It’s been wild! And it got me thinking: why does music have such a powerful hold on us?

Okay, so here’s the deal. Your brain is basically a supercomputer, and music is like a cheat code. When you listen to a song, it sets off all sorts of reactions:

• Memory Lane Activated: Music has this amazing ability to unlock memories. It’s like your brain has a little time machine, and certain songs are the keys.
• Happy Hormones Incoming: Music triggers the release of dopamine, which is basically your brain’s happy juice. That’s why listening to your favorite tunes can instantly boost your mood.
• Emotions on Overdrive: Music can also tap into your emotions, big time.

Music has this incredible ability to transport us through time. It can bring back the most exciting, joyful moments of our lives, making us relive those feelings as if they were happening right now. But it can also do the opposite. A song can trigger memories of really awful, embarrassing moments, or times of sadness, making us feel those emotions all over again.

It is amazing how a song can bring back the feelings of a first kiss, like my first kiss with my husband, or the sting of a hard breakup. Music is a powerful force.

My Secret Singing Life (Okay, Not So Secret):

And speaking of music, let’s talk about my love for singing! Especially on days when my husband goes into the office, I love to belt out my favorite tunes. It’s like my own personal concert, and I’m the star! And yes, I’ll admit, sometimes I record myself, just to double-check if I’ve magically become a world-class singer overnight. (Spoiler alert: I haven’t, but a girl can dream!)

I also have a blast making up silly songs and serenading my animals. I think they’re hilarious and creative, but maybe that’s just me. They seem to enjoy it, or at least tolerate it!

Honestly, music is like therapy for me. It’s there for me when I’m happy, sad, or just feeling plain weird. It helps me process my emotions, remember good times, and just feel a little bit more alive.

Here are a few playlists that I am currently vibing too: Enjoy!

Since I have spotify, I probably made a 100 playlists, but I did a reaaaal clean up!

Anyway, I just felt like expressing my deep love for music, which I am sure many of you can relate to! So, crank up the volume, let the music take you away, and don’t be afraid to dance like nobody’s watching (even if you’re alone in your room, or singing silly songs to your pet).

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx

Haha once again, it’s been a while! – To be fair I have been quite busy. That’s if you consider starting your own Company as being busy! Also, my website was down for a while, and I was struggling so much to get it back online, but enough of the excuses!

Sooooooo…. let’s see, what else is new? Ooooh I started listening to a new music genre – Indie Music, honesly it is such a vibe. My goal is to have a really messed up Spotify unwrapped this year LOL. Weird goal I know, but it’s so exciting to see what music you listened to during the year, especially when music is like a getaway for you.

BTW if there is any spelling mistakes in this post, blame it on Nyx! she decided that I no longer need my glasses, it’s the third pair that she has broken, but honestly it’s not entirely her fault as I am really bad at putting my things away. Anyway! I can hardly see what is going on, like it’s so blury on my screen, so if something doesn’t seem right, just scroll and have a good laugh. Also, I don’t know how I am going to watch Modern Family! (yes I am re watching it again)

Anyway, just took a vape break, I really need to start smoking less, but its so lekker to make smoke man! LOL

So my mental health has been up and down lately, probably because I haven’t seen a psychologist for a while, I am trying to find a new one, yes Daisy was really good to me, but I want to focus on some other things so I need to find one that matches what I am looking for. I am really so picky, like if they don’t have any Google reviews then I’m like pass! Also, I prefer male doctors and I also want an online one so that I don’t have to take an Uber to see him. If you know me, you know I HATE taking an uber alone, it’s so scary, like I will have the window open, my knuckle buster on, and a knife in my hand, all while trying to advertise my small tattoos on my wrists (I read that you are less likely to be a victim of trafficking if you have tattoos) anyway and I obviously want to seem normal, but my mind runs away with me the whole ride there, I just hate it. Point is, if you know any psychologists that fit the criteria please contact me? Like I told my psychiatrist I have an addiction to therapy, and he said its like exercise for your brain, and just like your body needs exercise, so does your brain, and I feel so good after rambling on about whatever trauma I wanna talk about LOL. And that is another reason why I missed blogging, its like a release for me, I used to love writing when I was younger, and I still enjoy it. I honestly don’t care if no one reads my blog, its like therapy to me, and if you are reading this, thank you! I hope I am relateable in some way!

Onto another topic, I recently had some fun with gummies (iykyk) and I went to a certain place, that well, I’d rather not mention, but if you get it, then you get it. I had so much fun admiring the confidence and beauty in these women, like standing there and being so vulnerable is crazy! oh and I had this gummy before I went there, so I had like a whole body positivity awakening LOL! like from far they look absolutely perfect, but at some point you see them up close and see their imperfections and you know it just makes you feel like it’s okay, not everyone is perfect and what they seem, and that’s okay, and they are beautiful either way. People might think I am weird for going to places like that, especially with my husband, but I like it, so judge me if you want, I honestly don’t care. You do you, I’ll do me. And yes there is absolutely nothing wrong in finding someone of the same gender beautiful/attractive. Well, I see nothing wrong with it.

Oh and on another note, love is love, and I do not judge. Like that is such a big thing for me, something so close to my heart, I love seeing people happy, no matter who they are with, no matter how they identify, no one will change my mind on this!

Anyway I am rambling on as usual, but if you made it this far, thank you! I hope you are happy and healthy, and that you are putting yourself first, that you are loving yourself and that you smiled today or laughed or even cried, these are all things that make us human, and I hope you feel comfortable in your skin, you are beautiful, your soul is beautiful, and remember, no one is perfect, and there is always room for growth. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Do what makes you happy and don’t apologize for it.

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx

Wow it’s beeeen a whiiiiillllleeee!!! hectic!

I remember when I first started my blog, I told myself that I would post everyday for a year LOL. But I am NOT going to beat myself up about it.

So my husband is on leave, and he is a night owl, so he has been playing a bunch of video games and falling asleep on the couch for the past few nights, and guess what? I have come to the realization that I am the spare human! Every morning I wake up and the dogs are laying with him! Traitors! I am the one that feeds them LOL. Anyway so tonight I was like “who ever sleeps by Mommy is getting a Christmas present” I kid you not – they came to lay by me! I promise you animals can understand us.

Sooooo I was laying watching them, just staring at them and thinking to myself how blessed and thankful I am for having them in my life. Then of course the intrusive thoughts took over, and I started thinking of the day that they might not be with me anymore and I just started crying! No one will understand (okay some might) how much my animals mean to me. I know I don’t talk much about my three cats (to them I am also the spare human!) but I love them dearly. The thing is with dogs, they want affection 24/7 and it is so cuuute! cats are like “get away from me you peasant”. One thing always sticks in my head – your animals are not with you for your whole life, but you are with them for their whole life – so I intend on making every moment count!

Man I love my dogs, I can talk about them all day, and if you read any of my previous posts you will know that I have a special connection with Nyx, she has been with me through the most.

Off topic but whyyyyyyy are dog farts so lethal? My word!!! someone send help asap! and also why do their little pawsies smell like cheese? But I honestly love them and their smelly bits and slobber so much!

Anyway this post is like a dedication to my animals and they can’t even read! or can they? haha

My point is, I am thankful, I am grateful, I am blessed. I am loved unconditionally by my pets and to feel that kind of love is so, so special. There comes the tears! Why am I so emotional?

Dear Nyx, Iris, Kai, Cosmo and Tigger, Mommy loves you (aka spare human – lets see if your Daddy writes a whole blog post about you, haha)

OMW I am so funny rn, okay no I’m not but let’s just pretend.

So what are you thankful for today? – I encourage you to ask yourself this question everyday!

To those of you that made it this far – thank you for reading my nonsense, I hope I made you smile!

Until next time my lovely souls, remember that you are loved!

xx

Firstly, ironic because I’ve been AWOL haha (well with blogging)

But seriously, I need a break, so if you don’t hear from me or see me as often, know it’s nothing personal – I am trying to make a few POSITIVE changes and I need to stay focused.

We are almost at the end of September and I remember telling myself last year, that I would be in a total different place by now, and guess what? Besides my job and slightly better mental health status – my physical health has taken an even bigger dip, and I am not proud of it.

I recently had a doctor’s appointment and I had to list all my “disorders” and honestly after mentioning all of it I was kinda embarrassed. That list was so long! The doctor took one look at me and said “stop hiding behind your disorders, own it” that hit hard but it’s true. Sometimes I make excuses and just fall back on, oh its because I have…. whatever. But that needs to stop.

If I want to make changes – especially with regard to my physical health I need to STOP blaming my binge eating disorder and work with what I have. Eat healthier and exercise. Simple right? well, it’s actually really not but I have to put in the effort. As I am typing this I am so nauseous, my throat hurts and I just feel unwell, and I can’t help but think it is linked to me being overweight.

While I’m on the topic, remember what Kat said in Euphoria? “There’s Nothing More Powerful Than A Fat Girl That Doesn’t Give a F***” Yoh I felt that for some time, not gonna lie. Being overweight gave me a weird sense of confidence, but it’s at a point where my health is taking a major dip and I simply HAVE to make some changes!

Wondering why I’m sharing this? Well if this is boring to you… just close the tab! I started this blog for myself and to raise awareness about mental health among many other things, but also as a diary to myself, so, Makayla, by next year this time I want to see a change okay? I am holding myself accountable and if you want to be a part of my journey then hold me accountable too! Sometimes we all need a helping hand, and if you want to be one – I will accept it. I am NOT saying I will be the best responder but I will try my best 🙂

I listened to this oldish song now and it made me feel somewhat hopeful. So take a listen, maybe you need it too!

Anyway…

I g2g

Until next time my lovely souls, remember you are loved!

xx